28 October 2020

Unstructured

Unsolicited health-related emails

At various points over the last year or so I’ve found myself signed up to something called SELF Daily and to the Patient Access mailing list. I think I’ve now unsubscribed from SELF, but still seem to be signed up to Patient Access, although I never do more than skim it. 

If you were previously feeling OK about being middle-aged, some of the emails I've received from these lists seem to have been designed to put you right about this forthwith. Here are some particular gems:

FFS.

Phthisis

I don’t really know much about the 11-plus exam, though both my parents took it in their day and successfully got in to their local grammar school. Buckinghamshire is one of the small number of English counties that retains the 11-plus and grammar schools (here's a list of them), so I’ve occasionally been aware of colleagues at the OU talking about it. Milton Keynes doesn’t have a grammar school, which I guess is in line with its ethos; also they’d probably stopped building new ones by the time MK was set up.

My clever mum was recently talking about her 11-plus - which, evidently, she took a year early – and related how she had clinched it by correctly spelling ‘phthisis’, despite it being a word she’d (unsurprisingly) never heard before. It’s a sufficiently unusual word to immediately take me back to my A-level English Literature syllabus, which included a number of T. S. Eliot poems, including Burbank with a Baedeker: Bleistein with a Cigar, which is the only place I’ve seen this word (it means: consumptive, afflicted by a wasting disease). MedicineNet has it that it’s pronounced TIE-sis, which I’m sure is correct though it’s sufficiently obscure nowadays for anyone coming across it to pronounce it phonetically.

Anyway, Burbank. A seedy tale of something or other – like many of Eliot’s poems, it was clearly not intended to be comprehensible by the mere mortal. Snip is of the copy of it that I studied for my A-level, together with explanatory notes made at the time.


Estate agents' random capitalisation

What is wrong with them? Just a few snips from Rightmove:




And while we’re on the topic, what the hell is a ‘family bathroom’? One that comes with a couple of kids?

Old Zip Coon

Ruth and I ended up in a conversation recently about ‘Singing Together’, the BBC radio show for schools that we both remembered from our primary schools, though I don’t think that at my school we tuned in to the live show – as I recall, teachers used to record the episodes and then play them back to the class on a cassette player at a convenient time. This is an interesting BBC article about the series. Shame that so few episodes survive in the archives.

I remembered several songs from ‘Singing Together’ during my last year at primary school, including 'Johnny Todd' and the charmingly-named ‘Old Zip Coon’. I found a recording of a song of this name on YouTube, though with different words to the song I remember. Pancocojams notes that the stirring chorus beginning 'O Zip a duden duden duden zip a duden day' was the source of the much later song 'Zip A Dee Do Da', as written for the now-blacklisted 1946 Disney movie 'Song of the South'.

I *think* the version sung by Al Bernard in the video clip here is the one we sang with 'Singing Together', and the version #2 lyrics look about right. As a class I seem to remember OZC being voted our favourite song from that series’ collection. I also seem to remember that our class teacher Mrs Duff forgot to record the final episode where the winning song was announced, so we never found out the winner. She was quite apologetic.

Nest, purveyor of cute/threatening products

Ruth purchased a 'Nest Protect' smoke alarm a while back, part of the Nest range of Smart Home products (I believe Nest has since been taken over by Google). It works on the house WiFi and links to a phone app, which helpfully sends a notification to your smartphone if your house is ablaze. As per this a while back when some cooking had created a certain amount of smoke that had filtered out to the hallway. The alarm itself is a lot politer than old-style smoke alarms – it doesn’t just go off in crude fashion, but first a voice cautions that the smoke levels mean it will soon go off, and warns that it’s quite loud, giving you about enough time to shriek and open all the windows.

'Nest Protect' in our hallway

Helpful notifications from the Nest app

Was somewhat alarmed to receive a similar ‘smoke clearing’ message the other week while sitting in my MK flat. Texted Ruth asking if she had set the house on fire, but it turned out she’d just overheated some butter while sautéeing potatoes for her dinner.

Ruth has resisted buying any further Nest products, particularly the cute but faintly sinister Nest Cam, which keeps an eye on your home, meaning, presumably, that you could potentially watch live footage of your home being burgled from the helpless vantage point of a holiday in Tenerife. As, possibly, could the Cam's previous owner, if you've made the mistake of buying a used one. Although some Smart Home products sound intriguing, this American couple's experience is enough to put you off having a fully-featured smart home. Similar to the media stuff about Alexa emitting random maniacal laughter.

7 October 2020

More books I have read recently

Hey, we’re not technically locked down any more (well, us lucky people in the south-east aren't, or not at the moment), but I’ll carry this on.

'The Wild Other' by Clover Stroud

Clover Stroud’s mother suffered a catastrophic head injury in a riding accident in 1991, which resulted in permanent brain damage albeit that she lived on (mainly in nursing homes) for 22 years afterwards. Clover was sixteen at the time of the accident. This is her memoir of how she navigated the 20 or so years following the accident.

Stroud is an exceptional writer; her writing style has a sensuous vividness that made reading this a real pleasure, in spite of the tragedy of her mother’s accident and my being simultaneously admiring of and aghast at Clover’s wildness and adventurous spirit. After leaving school, she moves to Ireland where she initially works as a waitress before shacking up on a New Age travellers’ camp near Galway with two people she’s literally just met in the pub, before joining up with a horse-drawn traveller called Brad, with whom she spends a number of months travelling around, initially in Ireland but then back in England, where she relates an arresting snippet of galloping a horse across the Downs at night, naked. After this spell, she takes up a place at Oxford University to study English. After graduation, her father buys her a plane ticket to New York, from where she eventually makes her way to Texas and gets a job working with cowboys on a ranch. She returns to England and acquires a boyfriend, Dan (who, amusingly, pretends to be Irish but actually comes from Hereford – he’s obliged to ‘fess up when he realizes that Clover will meet his family, sans Irish accents, at their upcoming wedding) and starts working as a writer, while also having her first two of eventually five children.

The next bit of wild adventure is when Clover falls for Zour, a member of a Cossack troop performing with her sister Nell’s circus (Nell died of cancer late in 2019 and Clover had a recent piece published in You magazine about her sister’s death). In a move possibly getting a bit away from adventurousness and more towards the recklessly irresponsible, she flies to Moscow to meet up with Zour and travels with him down to his home in Ossetia, against the advice both of her family and the Foreign Office. She makes a number of trips to Ossetia over the next couple of years, before realizing that they’re leading nowhere good. On her return from the final trip, she begins therapy.

Stroud repeatedly anchors the book to White Horse Hill and to the White Horse of Uffington. In the course of the book she mentions her move from Oxford to the village of Baulking, partly to be near the White Horse, as well as to recreate for her own children the country setup she evidently enjoyed in her childhood. Horses are also a repeated theme, as they evidently have been throughout Stroud’s life. Stroud closes the book by relating how, encouraged by her husband to start riding again, she has started working at a racing stables and describes vividly her interaction with the racehorse she is exercising as he canters towards the gallops: ‘Bally jumps forward at the bottom of the gallop and new life is flickering inside me before the ground rushes forward and we’re galloping, we’re flying, we’re going home’.

'The Wild Other' was published in 2017. Stroud has since had a second book published, 'My Wild and Sleepless Nights', about her experience of motherhood.

‘The Amazons of Somelon’ by Raymond Kaminski

What a hoot this was. Well, apart from all the violence. I picked it up some years ago in a secondhand bookshop (or possibly in a ‘just take these away’ bin outside a secondhand bookshop), probably thinking the cover and title made it sound like a bit of fun.

The Somelons are a race of Amazonian female warriors. The book’s heroine, incongruously named Sheryl, is a seven-foot tall blonde beauty of raw strength and power. She has recently taken as a lover the sculptor Kio, who’s previously been living a quiet life in the walled city of Centropolis. Sheryl and Kio are travelling with a Teutite caravan when it’s set on by the uncivilised and violent Horla tribe. Lots of people are killed unpleasantly, Kio is kidnapped and Sheryl is temporarily incapacitated by a club to the head, rendering her incapable of defending Kio or the Teutites.

The rest of the story is taken up with Sheryl’s quest to rescue Kio, interspersed with Kio’s experience of being kept captive by the Horla queen Allukah, who uses him as a sexual plaything in between violently smacking him around. Sheryl eventually locates Kio and carries him, sobbing, out of the Horlas’ Great Hut after slaughtering most of its occupants. After this, she places him safely under a tree to recover himself while she carries out some vicious vengeance-style torture and murder on a couple of those who have mistreated him.

The book’s dénouement takes place in the caves underneath the Anhatan Mounds, where Sheryl finally hunts Allukah to earth. In what has to be the book’s most splendid sequence, she comes upon Allukah riding the mummified dead body of a man. Outraged, Sheryl pushes Allukah off, lops off the dead body’s penis and bats it over to Allukah with her sword – before taking a better look at the dead man and realizing it’s HER OWN FATHER. Sheryl is, understandably, briefly distracted by the discovery that she’s just lopped off her old man’s cock and this enables Allukah to knock her out and shackle her to a stone slab. Kio re-establishes his manhood by coming to Sheryl’s rescue and killing Allukah with a blow to the head, following which he has sex with Sheryl, right there on the slab. Subsequent events then reveal to Sheryl that Allukah was HER OWN MOTHER. That’s one hell of a day.

I was sufficiently tickled by this book to read out snippets from it to Ruth, whose disparaging view was that it sounded like the author’s sexual fantasy and expressed outrage that I was even reading it. She bet me £50 that Allukah and Sheryl would end by getting it on – which doesn’t happen, though Allukah does look lasciviously at Sheryl’s chemise while Sheryl is incapacitated on the stone slab. When I revealed the twist relating to Sheryl’s parentage, I got a “Damn. I should have seen that one coming.”

‘The Amazons of Somelon’ was published by Stoneshire Books in 1981. The internet doesn’t reveal much about Raymond Kaminski, nor can I find he ever wrote anything else. I did find an obituary for a Raymond Kaminski, ex of the US Air Force, but no telling whether it’s the same one – if it is, the obit doesn’t mention his literary accomplishments.

'Invasion of the Body Snatchers' by Jack Finney

Ray borrowed this from my sister some while back and gave it to me to convey back to her. As it’s not the sort of thing I’d have picked up otherwise, I thought I’d read it. It’s a good story, and dead scary. Stay away from the big seed pods.

Brief plot synopsis: small-town doctor Miles Bennell is visited at his offices by an old high school sweetheart, Becky Driscoll, who is worried about a cousin of hers who has become convinced that her uncle isn’t really her uncle. Miles duly talks to the woman, Wilma, and convinces her to see a psychiatrist. Over the course of the next week or so, several other townspeople come to see him, similarly convinced that people close to them are not who they appear to be. A local couple, the Belicecs, then enlist Miles’ help as they appear to have found a dead body in their basement – except it isn’t exactly a dead body. It’s more a blank, unused body. And it doesn’t have any fingerprints. But, coincidentally, it’s just the same height and weight as Jack Belicec. Things get quite a lot worse but thankfully, the main characters’ pluck and tenacity help them win through (kind of) at the end.

The novel was first published in 1955. From some internet research, it was evidently originally published in serial form as just ‘The Body Snatchers’, and renamed for later publications. The edition I read is a 1999 edition published by Prion, which takes its cover art from the poster for the release of the 1956 film.

'Moranthology' by Caitlin Moran

Collection of Moran’s Times columns, interviews and ‘Celebrity Watch’ pieces. I do find Moran’s writing entertaining (albeit I don’t always agree with her opinion) so I enjoyed this. She does sound frankly a bit of a pain to live with though, if those conversations with her husband were actually real.

Moran won the Observer’s ‘Young Reporter of the Year’ competition when she was 15 and seems to have written sporadic pieces for national broadsheets throughout her teens. In fairness, she does take the piss out of her teenage writings, referring to one trying-hard-to-be-deep piece she wrote for the Observer as ‘a symphonic piece of bullshit’.

I have similar memories to Moran of the prominence given in the 70s and 80s on shows such as John Craven’s Newsround and Blue Peter to the seemingly intractable problem of how to get pairs of pandas to successfully mate and rear young; as Moran says, ‘the success of pandas breeding in captivity was presented as one of the primary concerns of the age’. It’s a wonder the wretched species aren’t extinct. I’m sure I remember thinking that they really didn’t help themselves.

‘Moranthology’ was published in 2012; I acquired my copy a few years ago but have only just got around to reading it. I read her earlier ‘How to Be a Woman’ in 2013. She's written two more recent books, ‘How to Build a Girl’ and ‘How to be Famous’.

'The Gooseberry' by Joan Lingard

A piece of what would now be termed Young Adult fiction. Another of Ruth’s books that I found in the attic at the house – in fact it’s a signed copy, as Lingard evidently once paid a visit to Ruth’s school.

Fourteen-year-old Ellie lives with her single mother in a flat on the top floor of an Edinburgh tenement. Even though she last saw him when she was three, Ellie has built up her long-departed father into a hero, keeping his piano in her bedroom and talking to his photograph. She’s sick of hanging around her best friend Isadora and Isadora’s boyfriends – Ellie is five feet eleven and thinks she’ll never get a boyfriend as she towers over all the boys she knows. Ellie’s mother Rose drops a bomb into Ellie’s life when she announces that she’s remarrying, selling their flat and taking Ellie to live in her new husband’s bungalow way out in the suburbs.

Lovely story, well written. I always admire authors who don’t waste words and Lingard conveys all she needs to in just 150 pages. Albeit Ellie and her mother are in conflict for much of the time, both are made into sympathetic characters – you can see Ellie’s mother’s point at the same time as understanding Ellie’s feelings. It also doesn’t include any far-fetched scenarios whereby Ellie eventually triumphs over parental will and manages to keep them living in the city – of course she has to go where her mother goes, and learn to accept it – but her mother is prevailed on to soften her attitude on a couple of more minor issues, which is satisfying and realistically low-key.

‘The Gooseberry’ was published in 1978. Lingard is evidently from Edinburgh herself, but spent a number of years living in Belfast and wrote a series of other YA books about young people across the sectarian divide. I read ‘The Twelfth Day of July’ as a child (or possibly early teenager) and remember it as being a good book – its striking opening about ‘King Billy’ still stands out and was the first I’d heard about anything related to the Ulster Protestant community and the Orange order. She seems to have been pretty prolific, writing for both young people and adults. This British Council page has a critical perspective on her.

22 August 2020

Walk from Wolverton to Castlethorpe and back via Cosgrove, 7.3 miles

Sunday 16 August - my birthday! Low-key fun

While walking the well-used path along the Ouse Valley Way between Haversham Road and the Iron Trunk Aqueduct, I’d often noticed a footpath leading off to the right over a footbridge, signposted to Castlethorpe. I’d also found out that Castlethorpe used to have a railway station, closed at the time of the Beeching Axe. Obviously the combination of an unexplored footpath and something disused made a tempting prospect for a low-key expedition.

The Great Ouse from the footbridge at the southern end of the path
The path, looking back; railway embankment on left


The little path leading up to Castlethorpe follows the path of the railway for most of its route. It was very quiet but seems well kept. I passed this rustbucket of a structure, which is marked on the map as a water tower. There's a blog post about it here by the British Water Tower Appreciation Society. Good to know there is one ....

Old water tower near Castlethorpe

Eventually the path comes to a footbridge across the railway, which I crossed and walked into Castlethorpe village. Seems quite attractive. Left the village again at the north end via Station Road (giveaway there), walking towards Cosgrove. Stopped on the bridge over the railway to spot the old platforms – they are indeed there, though the wall’s annoyingly high and I had to stand on tiptoe.

The old platforms, looking south


There’s a detailed page here on the station closure – seemingly the station had only just been modernised when the closure was announced, which caused some annoyance locally. There are some old photos of the station here.

Continued along Station Road out of Castlethorpe, dodging cars, until I came to the bridge over the canal just before a pub called The Navigation. En route, passed over a little river – the Tove, I gathered from the map. Joined the towpath walking south towards Cosgrove.

Walking south along the canal towards Cosgrove


I stopped briefly at Cosgrove and ate a snack bar sitting by the canal. It had started to get hotter by this point.

Grand Union Canal at Cosgrove


Set off again passing the Buckingham Arm of the canal going off to the right. This is the Cosgrove end of the partly restored canal; Ray and I walked along the rewatered bit of the Buckingham end back in January. My friend Matt is a volunteer on the restoration of the Cosgrove end, which from his descriptions seems to involve having a lot of fun with concrete. Got to admire the spirit of the restoration attempt but as the original route was severed both by the A5 and by the A422 Old Stratford Bypass, it faces some severe challenges.

Buckingham Arm going off to the right


After passing the lock the canal continues south east to the Iron Trunk Aqueduct. I didn't photograph this today, but did on a walk in early July with Ray, so here's that picture (bluer sky than today!). 

The Iron Trunk aqueduct


I left the towpath at the aqueduct and followed the path down to the river level, where I made my way home via the Floodplain Forest Nature Reserve and Big Hill Field.

Floodplain Forest nature reserve
Big Hill Field


My route in red below; start and end points in Wolverton at the bottom, Castlethorpe at the top.

13 August 2020

Snippets from the before times

Constructive CPD stuff

Our head of unit, Begoña, is – to her credit – very supportive of staff CPD, so with this in mind I put in a request last year to take the SAS certification exam, as I’ve been learning SAS ‘on the job’ since starting at the OU nine years ago. SAS, as hard-core codey types will tell you, is a scripting language used for data analysis, rather than a proper programming language used for actually building things, but still. I did eventually manage to cover all the material in the training manual and (after postponing it two or three times) finally took the exam in February of this year, at a Pearson VUE test centre inside The Point in central Milton Keynes. The exam was quite challenging and I can’t say I got distinction-level marks, but I did pass, and was duly issued with my certificate and with this ‘badge’ from Acclaim, which I’ve added to my LinkedIn profile. Go me.

The SAS UK headquarters are on the Wittington Estate just outside Marlow. I went there for a two-day SAS Enterprise Guide course in 2017. Very nice it all was too.

Wittington House, UK home of the SAS Institute

National Trust membership

Although Ruth questions this every year, I did renew our National Trust membership again for 2020. Perhaps I just feel we’re the kind of people who should be NT members. To kick off this year’s use of it, we went over to The Vyne, near Basingstoke, on a Saturday in January for a low-key wander. We had a walk along one of the trails although, as per the extremely wet winter we had, portions of the path were pretty waterlogged.

The Vyne

Driving back, Google Maps decided it didn’t like the A33 and took us on a winding route through Stratfield Saye and other villages south of Reading. Some quite flooded roads, including one quite large stretch that I did stop at, unsure whether I should drive through it. There was a 4x4 coming through it from the opposite direction and the driver kindly said she’d wait while my Fiesta drove through it in case I ran into any problems. She also added some stuff about how it was all due to the poor infrastructure locally, claiming that her village had only recently got broadband. Seemed a bit unlikely but there you go.

That was actually the only NT place we managed to visit prior to the lockdown; although they’ve opened again now, we haven’t yet mustered the energy to book a timed slot at one. With hindsight, I probably should have cancelled our membership for this year, but haven’t as yet done this.

The Vyne had a Mindfulness Trail going on when we visited, which we scoffed at briefly.

Dinner with colleagues

Back when we were allowed to do such things. A group of us from the former Information Office went to dinner at Murati's pizzeria in Newport Pagnell, the sister restaurant to the Wolverton branch we went to a couple of years ago. On the left, from the front: Rebecca, Claire, Jill. On the right, from the back: Harvey, Chris, me, Sara, Matt. Hai was there too, but must have been taking the picture I think.

Dinner at Murati's

Visits to Wales

With the vague aim of trying to visit Mum and Dad every month to six weeks (an intention subsequently scuppered by the lockdown and the closing of Wales), I went down to Abergavenny for a couple of nights on the last weekend in January. Mum, Hannah and I had lunch at the Art Chapel café on the Saturday and then Dad joined Mum and me for a walk along the River Usk back to their house, from a starting point near Nevill Hall Hospital. Dad pointed out where the recent lively water levels had taken a big chunk out of the bank.

River Usk near Abergavenny

I went down one subsequent time before the lockdown, with Ruth where we did the walk up Skirrid already blogged about here.

Two cultural bits

Ruth and I went up to the V&A on 8 February, just for a London trip out really but Ruth ended up going to the Mary Quant exhibition that Mum and I went to back in October last year. While she was there I had a wander around the cast courts and took this shot of the cast of the Donatello ‘David’:

which is dwarfed by the enormous buttocks of the Michelangelo ‘David’ next to it:

Hannah reminded that me that she's seen the original of the Donatello 'David', in Florence.

On 8 March we went to an exhibition of maps at the Bodleian in Oxford. Discovered there’s a nice café there I hadn’t been to before.

Café at the Bodleian

Ruth and I were aware of thinking Oxford was a bit quieter (and therefore pleasanter) than usual. Start of a COVID-induced staying in, I guess, prior to it being enforced a few weeks later.

24 July 2020

More books I have read during lockdown

‘Bringing in the Sheaves: Wheat and Chaff from My Years as a Priest’ by the Reverend Richard Coles


As is her way, Ruth bought this book some time back and has never actually read it, so I thought I would. Both of us follow the Reverend on Twitter and enjoy his tweets – though they have been rather sadder of late as he lost his partner David back in December to an unspecified illness. ‘Bringing in the Sheaves’ was published in 2016 and was a follow up to the earlier ‘Fathomless Riches: Or How I Went from Pop to Pulpit’, a reference to his earlier career in the 1980s band The Communards.

The book is really a series of anecdotes and reflections, grouped into ‘chapters’ according to themes (‘Hatching’, ’Matching’, ’Dispatching’) and to events in the Church’s calendar (‘Michaelmas’, ‘Epiphany’, ’Passion Sunday’, etc). I enjoyed reading it, though did have to keep stopping in order to look up things: Petertide, Transfiguration, St Egwin of Evesham, and many others. Also ‘thurifer’, which apparently means one who carries the censer in a religious ceremony (Coles: “Mass for Ascension Day, me as thurifer, and I managed to cense the faithful in so violently flamboyant a way they flinch”).

Coles strikes a good balance between expressing his own views on certain topics while managing to keep a light and humorous touch. I’d say the ‘Matching’ chapter is, unsurprisingly, the most strongly expressed, and Coles rails against “the present arrangements in the Church of England, which allow me to bless my friends’ dog but not the gay equivalent of a golden wedding”. He expresses frustration at openly being allowed to marry young heterosexual couples whose union will patently not survive a year, while seeing gay friends who have been with their partners for decades unable (at the time) to get official acknowledgement of their union.

The book’s title (the first part of it) is taken from a 19th-century Gospel song written by a Knowles Shaw, inspired by Psalm 126:6.

‘Treasure at the Youth Club’ by Agnes M. Miall

I picked up a number of old children’s books at the secondhand bookshops in Hay-on-Wye when we used to go there more often. They’re currently languishing in a box at the house and are mostly school stories, although this one isn’t. I should probably formulate some sort of proper plan for whether I’m going to keep them and if so, where I’m going to store them.

‘Treasure at the Youth Club’ was published in 1946 and the action is set in a new youth club that’s just opened in the small town of Osminster. The Tower Youth Club, as it’s called, is based in a historic Tudor tower, formerly part of a nunnery and with some legends attached, one about a ghost and the other about some treasure – jewels – that were apparently buried somewhere on the tower’s premises. Three Club members take it upon themselves to set out to crack the mystery of where the treasure is buried: best friends Blanche and Cherry, and Cherry’s new friend Crispin Gray. As expected, they do succeed in unearthing the lost jewels despite the failed efforts of adults over a number of centuries. They’re almost pipped at the post by a rival hunter, local unsavoury character Victor Step, who has roped in his unwilling stepson ‘Ginger’ to assist him. In the book’s most ludicrous sequence, the teenagers – including Ginger, who switches sides – bind and gag Step and suspend him halfway up the outside of the tower in a basket dangling from a rope.

Everything turns out well and the unhappy Ginger, free of Step’s clutches, is able to return to school with the aim of following his ambition to be an aviator (Step has had him labouring on the farm). Sir George Sakington, the owner of the tower and therefore the jewels, presents the Club with a cheque for a new hall as a sign of his gratitude.

Google reveals limited information on Agnes M. Miall, but she appears to have written a 1916 volume called ‘The Bachelor Girl’s Guide to Everything’, which sounds potentially interesting, as well as a number of books about needlework, which don’t so much.

‘Fever Pitch’ by Nick Hornby

Ray suggested years ago that I read 'Fever Pitch', arguing that it formed a crucial insight into why football is so important to some men. Clearly that recommendation didn’t entice me sufficiently at the time as I’ve only just got around to reading it now, probably about 25 years later.

Nick Hornby became hooked on football, and on Arsenal specifically, when his dad took him to see Arsenal vs. Stoke City as an eleven-year-old in 1968. The book is a personal memoir about his life in fandom – each chapter is framed in the context of a specific match, from 1968 up until the early 1990s. Mostly Arsenal games, but not all. Football clearly provided a way for Hornby and his father to connect (his parents had separated and he lived with his mother and sister) and standing on the terraces with his dad and crowds of other men seems to have additionally provided a way to connect as men – he says of his first match “I remember the overwhelming maleness of it all”.

It’s effectively conveyed – as with 'High Fidelity' (the only other of Hornby’s books I’ve read), Hornby manages to relate feelings and episodes that could reflect unfavourably on him but while still coming across as sympathetic and understandable. An example: bailing on a close friend’s birthday party because it was scheduled for the date of an Arsenal home game, and he HAD to attend all Arsenal’s home games. All the things that can and couldn’t be done as a fan make interesting reading – e.g. how while living in Cambridge for a while he also followed Cambridge United, explaining how this wasn’t disloyal to Arsenal as the two teams were in completely different leagues. It’s also interesting to ponder how the cost of attending football matches must have changed over the decades – could a schoolboy these days attend Premiership games? Hornby relates standing with friends as a young teenager in the Schoolboys’ Enclosure at Highbury, ‘peering at the game through the legs of the linesmen’.

There were some things though that struck an odd note with me, one in particular: when describing the disastrous Liverpool vs. Juventus game at Heysel in 1985, Hornby muses ‘the surprise was that these deaths were caused by something as innocuous as running’. ‘Running’, by which he seems to mean crowds of fans charging the opposing fans, doesn’t sound particularly innocuous to me, and it’s easy to my mind to see how the Juventus fans were scared into running the other way, towards the wall that then collapsed. Hornby maintains that the practice of running was ‘intended to do nothing more than frighten the opposition and amuse the runners’ – maybe so, but as an outsider to football it’s a bit difficult to see.

Ray (a Spurs fan) told me a story of going up to London with his brother Lee (a Chelsea fan) to see Tottenham vs. Chelsea. They separated at the game to go to the opposing ends, and after the game found themselves each in a crowd of their own team’s fans on opposite sides of a road, with mounted police down the middle. Ray recalls stepping over the barrier intending to cross the road to join his brother and immediately being screamed at by police to get back, while Lee apparently looked on in horror from the other side of the road. Ray hadn’t realized that a number of other Spurs fans had crossed the barrier after him, misunderstanding his intention and meaning to join him in charging the Chelsea fans. He and Lee did eventually manage to meet up, I think back at the train station.

‘Fever Pitch’ was published in 1992 and was Nick Hornby’s first book.

‘Lady in Waiting’ by Anne Glenconner

The Guardian journalist Hadley Freeman commented a while back on Twitter that she read this book expecting “posh lolz”, but was taken aback at the strife and tragedy within. That’s pretty much true though it’s not all tragic – the stiff-upper-lipped Lady Glenconner manages to relate the events of her life in a pretty entertaining way.

Anne was born Lady Anne Coke, the eldest daughter of the 5th Earl of Leicester, and grew up at Holkham Hall in Norfolk (as her father contrived to have three daughters and no sons, the rules of primogeniture meant that the estate passed after his death to his cousin). Anne married Colin Tennant, who later became the 3rd Baron Glenconner. My – and quite possibly most readers’ – opinion of Tennant is hard to put into words; you’d have to read the book.

The book is a really interesting read. At her coming-out dance during her debutante season in 1950, Anne wore a dress made from “a dyed pale green and pleated parachute” – post-war rationing meant there were no silks and satins to be had that year. Later, Anne’s mother sends her off on a trip to America to get her over moping breaking up with one Johnnie Althorp (who later became Earl Spencer and the father of Lady Di), a trip from which she is called back after being chosen to be a Maid of Honour at the Queen’s coronation, one of six unmarried aristocratic girls specially picked for the occasion. In the late 1950s Colin Tennant purchased the Caribbean island of Mustique and turned it into a celebrity party island; Princess Margaret had a house built there and evidently spent a lot of time there over the years, and Tennant gave a series of lavish parties; the book includes a photo of Anne on the island in the 1980s flanked by Mick Jagger and Rupert Everett. In the early 1970s Anne became a Lady in Waiting to Princess Margaret, a childhood friend, a role she kept until PM’s death in 2002.

The tragic bits, leaving her husband’s vagaries out of it: Anne’s eldest son Charlie, a heroin addict, died of hepatitis C after causing his parents years of grief (they are obliged to disinherit him to prevent him selling the Glenconner family estate to buy drugs). Her second son Henry, seemingly better adjusted and more successful than his elder brother, leaves his wife and young child after coming out as gay, contracts HIV and dies of AIDS. Her third son Christopher has a near-fatal motorcycle accident while travelling in Central America and spends some time in a coma; Anne throws herself into his rehabilitation which was seemingly eventually quite successful, though it’s implied that there were some permanent after-effects.

Since her husband’s parting shot, which was to leave his entire estate to an employee, Lady Anne has evidently been living at the house near Holkham that her father had advised her to buy for herself years earlier, clearly having sized up his son-in-law early on. In Anne’s words:

I am back at my farmhouse in Norfolk, the place that feels more like home than anywhere else. I owe a lot to my father’s sound judgement all those years ago when he told me I should buy a house of my own due to Colin’s flaky character. If I hadn’t bought it, I have no idea where I would be now.

Thank God for the 5th Earl’s prescience.

29 June 2020

Harley

Our bunny Harley was sadly put to sleep (don’t like that expression any more than I like ‘passed away’, but ‘euthanised’ seems a bit brutal) on Monday 1 June, after suffering with an abscess on the side of his head for a number of months. Ruth had been warned that the abscess wasn’t treatable but had agreed with the vet to monitor him for the time being, as his behaviour still seemed reasonably normal (though rabbits’ comfort levels are notoriously hard to assess as they do that concealing pain thing that prey species do). I’ve already done a bit of a eulogy to Harley on Facebook as per below, so have limited myself here to looking over past blog entries that mention him.

We adopted Harley from Reading Rabbit Rescue in June 2009, along with his first companion, the late (and fluffy, solid and somewhat intransigent) Lola. During his first couple of months with us, he mastered climbing the staircase, and also escaped from our garden into next door:

I continue to be surprised by Harley the Bunny’s spiritedness and agility, especially in comparison with Ruth’s previous rabbit Jake, a more nervous creature who disliked the outdoors and never to my knowledge even attempted climbing stairs. Harley has now completely mastered the staircase, which is steep even by Victorian terrace standards and is treated with some respect by visitors to the house. He also eagerly escapes into the garden at every opportunity and we are discovering by trial and error which part of the perimeter isn’t actually rabbit-proof. On Saturday he disappeared into a clump of bamboo and vanished from sight – Ruth’s calling of him resulted in the reply of “Are you looking for a rabbit?” from over the fence; she looked up to discover our neighbour Terry standing on his lawn looking down at a tiny adventurous rabbit. She went next door to fetch him and carried him back with some stern words, but he appeared not noticeably chastened.
Lola and Harley

We were warned when adopting Harley that he had long teeth that could prove to be a problem, and indeed he ended up having two or three teeth raspings under general anaesthetic during the time we owned him, including this one in September 2011:

Harley duly had his surgery last Friday, and by the time I arrived home in the evening seemed pretty much back to usual, though he didn't eat properly until Saturday afternoon, meaning that Ruth had to feed him through a pipette with some vile-looking food supplement supplied by the vet. We are hoping that his newly-shortened teeth will now enable him to eat lots of hay, as proper bunnies are supposed to.

He recovered fine from all the anaesthetics, but our hope that he might start helping himself by eating more hay to help wear his teeth down proved misplaced - despite all Ruth’s attempts Harley was never keen on hay, though most of our female rabbits have been happy enough to eat it. I'd noted Harley's disdain for hay a couple of years earlier, while also noting that he'd nibbled the spines of several of my books:

Rabbits apparently do need to chew constantly in order to keep their teeth worn down, so chewing is to be applauded, but they are provided with a plentiful supply of hay for this purpose. Lola enjoys hay but Harley appears to spurn it in favour of, this week at least, 'Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway' and 'The International Dictionary of Phrasal Verbs'.
Eating the wallpaper, with Lola

The chimney incident referred to in the eulogy happened in early January 2012, during the time that the third bedroom at the house was languishing in a shell-like state.

Since Ruth took the door to bedroom 3 off its hinges to strip the paint, we have had an awkward situation whereby we have had to put a board over the door to the room to stop Harley going in, given that since the removal of one of the chimney breasts the shaft that ran down to the dining room fireplace has been exposed. Too small to be a danger to us and it’s in the corner of the room anyway, but given Harley’s seemingly intense curiosity, we had been a bit worried that he could fall down it. On Monday evening, while I was sitting relaxing over a herbal tea and an episode of ‘Sherlock’, he duly did – urgent call from Ruth of “We have a problem” followed by inspection with a torch from above (apparently fine if slightly grey-looking bunny looking up at us) followed by Ruth having to dig a wad of stuff out of the dining room chimney to release him. On release, he wriggled out of Ruth’s arms and scampered straight back upstairs, where I pursued him shouting something along the lines of “Have You Learned Nothing!” Board over door now wedged tight with a chair – evidently a fatal gap must have been left.
The chimney rescue

Bedroom 3 proved the scene of another incident a few months later when he nearly strangled himself with a loose curtain thread:

Saturday started well when we became vaguely aware, while still in bed, of Harley making noise at the entrance to bedroom 3, as he has been on an intense quest to gain access to the room ever since his way was barred, including, evidently, shredding the bottom of the curtain that's currently hanging in the doorway. Something prompted me to get up and see what he was doing, and after a moment or so I registered that he had a cord from the curtain tightly around his neck. After yelling to Ruth to fetch a pair of scissors, I released him. Her immediate response was "Oh Harley, are you all right?", whereas I think mine was along the lines of "YOU STUPID STUPID RABBIT". That's the second time he's cheated death. Given that rabbits are renowned for dying all over the place at the slightest provocation, he can't have many lives left.

After Lola’s death in August 2013, we took Harley back to Reading Rabbit Rescue for ‘bonding’ with a second female companion. The decision-making process went thus:

We were shown three female rabbits who were currently without companions – two, Patches and Lexie, whom Sandra had identified in advance as potentially suitable, and a third, Cherry, whom she included mainly because she’s been at the rescue centre for over two years. Ruth settled on Lexie, a largish and seemingly quite boisterous bunny, as her potential mate of preference, deciding (unfairly, I thought) that Cherry was too timid. Patches dented her chances by biting Ruth during the inspection.

Despite RRR's coy references to 'husbuns' and bunny moon suites, Ruth and I had our doubts about Lexie from the start:

At the moment I have my reservations – a few days in to the new couple’s bonding, Steve and Sandra discovered that she had given Harley a bite for which he has had to go on a course of antibiotics. When I spoke to Ruth on the phone at the weekend, the two of them were apparently about as far away from each other as they could get. Time will tell if things improve.

Things didn't improve:

When we collected [Lexie] and Harley from RRR last Sunday after spending the weekend at my parents’, we regaled Sandra in a light-hearted yet mildly barbed fashion with Lexie’s faults, at which she tittered sympathetically before adding chirpily “Sold as seen!”. As we arrived, Sandra's opening sally had been to claim that Harley and Lexie seemed to get on together better than he had with Lola, at which point Lexie aggressively mounted Harley, staying on board as he raced around the enclosure trying to shake her off, and thrusting in a less than ladylike fashion. When Sandra eventually managed to coax/prise her off, poor little Harley had a large sucked patch of wet fur on the back of his neck. As we were leaving, Sandra somewhat shamefacedly thanked us for adopting her.

We did subsequently decide Lexie was not the bunny for us (or Harley) and returned her to RRR in May 2014 for re-homing. We subsequently adopted the lively and destructive Willow. In terms of being a companion for Harley, she wasn’t that much better than Lexie, albeit a little less violent; unlike Lexie, however, she charmed Ruth and me with her friendliness, and we kept her until she unfortunately became ill and died about a year later. During Willow’s time with us, Harley spent a noticeable amount of time upstairs under the bed in the master bedroom, rediscovering the ground floor after her death:

Since Willow’s death, Harley has been re-exploring the ground floor, having been more or less banished upstairs by Willow during her residence. Ruth swears she spotted a binky in the living room during his first weekend without her. Willow was given to chasing Harley out of the living room if he dared to enter, sometimes tearing out a lump of his fur for good measure.
Willow and Harley

Following Willow’s death in 2015, Harley spent about a year as a solo house rabbit, though Ruth was nudged periodically by Sandra at RRR regarding getting him another companion, as per this conversation in early 2016 where she tried to suggest to us that Harley’s troubles with females might have been due to his being a bit of a sex pest:

Sandra again raised the question of whether we were intending to get another companion for him, and we raised concerns that she’d have to be a female who wouldn’t bully him and banish him from the ground floor as per Willow. Sandra then, quite kindly, voiced her opinion that Harley is “a little bit of a sex pest”, and that some of his rougher treatment by females might essentially have been asked for. We felt similarly to how parents must feel who have been claiming to the headteacher that their child is being put upon by other children, only to be told their child is in fact a bit of a sod.

Later that year we adopted another RRR rescue bunny, Beau as Harley's fourth companion. Beau proved a good companion for him but sadly died after only a few months with us. About six months after Beau’s death we adopted a young female as Harley's fifth companion, supposed to be named Pippa but we immediately nicknamed her 'Catherine Howard', which has stuck.

Beau with Harley

In 2018 Harley went on to a daily painkiller after the vet thought his hips seemed a bit stiff. He loved this concoction, which he stayed on up until his death.

Whatever the mixture is, he seems to like it and hops up to Ruth eagerly to take it. From our observations it seems to be doing him some good; he has seemed livelier, even to the extent of chasing the much younger Catherine Howard around the room friskily each morning.
Although we don’t know Harls’ exact age, he was believed to be around a year old when we adopted him in 2009, so should be about 10 this year, which is a respectable age for a rabbit though no doubt living in a centrally-heated house has helped him.

I'm sure it did help him - indeed he always had some respiratory problems, sneezing a lot, and Sandra at RRR reckoned that his longevity was most certainly due to being a house bunny.

Harley rootling in the garden

Harley is now buried in the garden, along with Jake, Lola, Willow and Beau. It's becoming a rabbit burial ground.